


Madness Takes It's Toll

by mohinikapuahi



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-25
Updated: 2011-06-25
Packaged: 2017-10-20 17:33:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/215281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mohinikapuahi/pseuds/mohinikapuahi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Governor makes the team an offer they can't refuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Madness Takes It's Toll

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd and absolutely the crackiest of crack fic you will ever read. Enter at your own risk....

Steve walked into HQ, an assortment of labelled packages in his hands, a very passable version of aneurysm face in place. He dumped the packages onto the tech desk and waited. Surely, one by one the rest of the team peered out of their offices, until Danny ventured out to find out what Steve’s issue was.

“What happened? New Governor send you shopping?” Danny waved his hands towards the collection of packages.

“Nope.” Steve answered.

“Hey Boss,” Kono spoke as she walked up to the desk, frowning. “Why is my name on one of those packages?”

“We all have one, Kono.” Steve sighed. “The Governor thinks that we need to sharpen up our image in the community, and seems to think this will help.”

“New uniforms?” Chin suggested.

“Even better.” Steve smiled evilly.

“I don’t think I like that look. What is that look, Steven?” Danny waved his hand at Steve’s face. “That my friend is a face I have not yet seen, and as such am not familiar with.”

“We are going to a party.” Steve started to explain. “There is a charity screening of a cult classic movie at Turtle Bay resort, the Governor has decided that we are attending as a team.”

“Steven, that doesn’t explain why you came baring packages,” Danny stated.

“I may have neglected to mention that the occasion is fancy dress, in the theme of the movie.” Steve grinned wryly.

“I think that may have been deliberate on his part.” Chin declared.

“I don’t know what you lot are all so worried about.” Steve sighed as he sorted the packages and threw them to their intended targets.

“How come I get a package?” Jenna asked as she caught one of the larger packets, “I’m not officially part of the team.”

“You it seems have been convicted by association, Jenna.” Chin laughed as he opened the end of one of his packages.

Danny had silently been standing there, opening the small envelope that Steve had thrown him. “NO FUCKING WAY!” he cursed loudly throwing his envelope onto the table. He took three steps to walk away and then turned back to say something, but was speechless and mouthed words before scraping his hands through his hair and began pacing.

Unable to stop herself, Kono picked up the envelope and shook its contents out onto the tech desk. A miniscule pair of gold lame underpants fell onto the shiny surface.

“At least you won’t be overdressed, Danny.” She spoke trying desperately not to laugh.

“You wear it.” Danny spat. “I am not wearing that in fucking public, McGarrett.”

“You will, just as we all have to, it’s just one night. And just for the record, it’s all in or nothing. Governor has threatened to shut us down and send us back to where we come from if we don’t play by the ‘new’ community service rules. Starting with this function. I’m not happy with it either, but it’s what we have to do.” He paused, “So you’ve got the rest of the day off, we meet back here at six. The Governor has been nice enough to provide us with transport, which is I believe only to ensure we don’t chicken out.”  
As the team dispersed, Danny stood, arms folded tightly across his chest. “I’m not wearing that, Steven.” He growled through his teeth.

“I wouldn’t complain too much, Daniel. You got off easy.” Steve responded tightly. “We meet back here at six.” Steve snatched his package and strode quickly out of the office.

5*0*5*0*5*0

Jenna was the first to arrive a little before the allotted time. She was a little disappointed when she saw her costume, compared to what she had seen of Danny’s , hers was tame. A pastel pink fifties style dress with jacket , gloves and matching retro underwear, ridiculously chaste white court shoes and matching retro handbag. She had dressed and driven back to the office, sitting in a chair in the middle of the bullpen, just waiting for the others to get back.

She didn’t have long to wait. Kono and Chin arrived right at six. Jenna clapped when she saw them because she had finally put together what the movie was and couldn’t wait to see who the others were dressing as.

Chin walked in first. Ripped jeans tucked into western boots and a studded black belt. A black tee shirt and black leather vest covered his muscular torso. He had a large saxophone strapped to his back and an inked on line of stitching across his forehead.

“Hey, Jenna.” Chin grinned as he stepped into the room.

“Outstanding costume Mr Kelly.” She responded.

The sound of shoes tapping on the polished floor drew their attention. Kono, her face heavily made up and split by a huge grin walked into the room. Her legs seemed to go on forever, from gold sequinned tap shoes and white ankle socks all the way up to gold sequinned hot pants, with fishnet stockings in between.

“Isn’t this fun?” she almost giggled as she moved across the room to high five Jenna.

A rainbow striped sequinned bustier cinched her tiny waist in, it was covered with a jacket that matched her hot pants, and she wore a red sparkly bow tie around her neck like a collar, and topped all of it with a gold sequinned bowler hat.

“Not so much.” Danny’s voice sounded from behind her. “Nice legs, Kalakaua.”

All three of them turned to see Danny standing in the doorway, clad only in gold lame underpants, a studded black collar and a leash hanging from the collar like a tie.  
“I could say the same back to you.” Kono grinned.

“Thanks, I think.” Danny replied through clenched teeth.

“You know I did some research this afternoon. There’s about three thousand people at this shindig.”

“Outstanding. I’m in my underwear in a room full of people. People that I have to look in the face in the future. People that may or may not include my ex wife and her new husband.” Danny walked into the loose circle they had formed around the tech desk.

“Danny I don’t think she’ll mind, she’s already seen you in less.” Jenna frowned.

“That’s not the point. People will not take me seriously. I’ll go right back to being that schmuck haole.”

“No you won’t brah. We’re all in this together.” Chin suggested.

“Yes, but at least the girls look good.” Danny grumbled.

“Holy fuck!” Chin exclaimed. The other three turned to see what Chin had seen.

“Oh my fucking God!”

“Way to go, Boss.”

“Woohoo, Steve.”

Steve stood in the doorway, a black curly wig on his head, his face made up like a fifties movie starlet, complete with beauty spot. A long black satin cape covered him from his neck to the tops of his four inch black leather platform heels.

“What’s under the cape, big guy?” Danny asked his voice hoarse with suppressed amusement.

Steve spoke, licking his glistening red lips slowly before he did. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” his voice was sultry and dripping with illicit intention.

“Since I’m standing here in my fancy tidies, yes I think I would.” Danny responded, his eyes fixed on Steve’s lips.

With a flourish befitting a master magician, Steve flicked the cape back, the revelation causing a slow round of applause from most of the witnesses, Danny sinking into a chair, apparently forgetting to blink as he drank in the sight of his partner.

Black fishnet stockings encased his tight muscular legs, up to the suspender belt and garter. A black satin thong and a black leather corset completed his ensemble which was delicately accompanied by a string of pearls at his neck.

His eyes fixed on Danny; he stalked across the room walking with the ease of a catwalk model in his heels. He leaned forward, trailed on hand under Danny’s chin, pressed upwards until his mouth was closed, then lifted the leash and pulled Danny to his feet.

“Coming, Danny?” he asked huskily as he led Danny from the room.

Danny, for once in his life silent, followed meekly, not noticing the chuckles from his other teammates.


End file.
